So many job seekers are reluctant to get their message out there. And yet, if no one knows what you’re looking for or where you need help, they can’t help you.

I’ve looked for three good resources to help you move from the comfort of your computer to creating successful conversations this week.  Here are my picks:

Chris Fralic reminds us to be specific when we’re asking for help or connections.  Asking someone, “Do you know anyone who is hiring?” is not going to get you as many connections as, “Do you know someone who works in the finance department of a mid-sized company in Minneapolis? I’d like to connect with them to learn more about how their operation works.” Chris’ post on “The Art of the Introduction” is great.

Wondering where to start with this whole networking thing?  Check out Kristen Jacoway’s post on business cards, elevator speech basics, and building relationships. She’s got great advice.

This third resource may be the most powerful. Meghna Majmudar focuses on leading with generosity. Please remember: your goal is to build relationships.  And out of those relationships, you get closer to your next job.

Yes, talking to people is uncomfortable for many. And yes, it takes a little practice.  And yes, it will get you closer to your next job faster.

I’m interested in other networking or relationship building resources. Who or what do you suggest?

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However…

When I’m learning something new on the computer, or my screen goes dark, or one of those silly error messages pops up…my head goes numb.  My blood pressure rises and I wish for the days in corporate America when I could simply call the help desk.

So when I took the leap into the world of social media, I looked for resources.  I couldn’t have survived without them.  Here’s my list of a few of my favorites:

 ~  Mark Holterhaus has been my go-to-guy with questions and suggestions.  Over the phone or in person, consulting support or just-in-time help, his patience has made me one grateful lady.  He’s one of my favorite people to work with.

 ~  Kate-Madonna Hindes is a new contact and friend.  Her article Social Media for Job Seekers is one of the easiest and most interesting articles I’ve read on the topic.  Her blog postings have captured my attention, and I can’t wait to get to know her better.  (Even her name and the name of her company, Girl Meets Geek, makes you want to know more, right?)

~  Jason Alba has the name and business that aligns with all things social media.  He understands how to write and teach to the technically challenged world.  People like me.  (I’m on LinkedIn: Now What?  I’m on FaceBook: Now What?)

Google will help you get connected to thousands of other resources on this topic.  My advice?  Just start doing it.  Learn as you go. 

I’ll see you on line!

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But here was the problem.  My ignorance and fear were preventing me from accessing and using tools that could—and would—help me connect and reconnect with people I cared about.

It was time to change.

I remember very clearly the evening I set up my FaceBook site. I found friends!  In fact, the number of people that reached out caught me by surprise.  It felt like I had opened the door into our living room and people from every stage of my life entered at once.  Loved it. 

I eventually found my rhythm in this new world.  And once I realized I wouldn’t die from technology overload, I set-up my LinkedIn account.  And again, nothing terrible happened!

Technically saavy?  It will never describe me.  And that’s the gift in these social media tools.  For those of us who are technically challenged, we have tools available that can deepen and broaden our relationships.  And we don’t have to know computers well to use them.  We’re silly if we ignore them.

So now I’m enjoying my brief connections in the LinkedIn and FaceBook worlds.  Job connections are  made, business opportunities are presented, and relationships are nurtured.

As for Twitter, my friend Mark Holterhaus has been helping me get my head around this crazy phenomenon.  It’s going to happen.  I’m sure someone needs to know that I’m sitting in my living room or eating a bagel.  Right?

Job seekers, don’t let your fear of the unknown or technology keep you from using these tools.

Believe me.  If I can post and link, anyone can.  Just do it.

On Wednesday…some exceptional resources to get you started!

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Endless Referrals and anything else by Bob Burg

Million Dollar Networking and anything else by Andrea Nierenberg

Net Profit: Business Networking without the Nerves by Kathleen Watson

Never Eat Alone and Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi

Who’s Got Your Back by Keith Ferrazzi

You, Inc: The Art of Selling Yourself  by Harry Beckwith and Christine Clifford Beckwith

Be Your Own Brand: A Breakthrough Formula for Standing out from the Crowd by David McNally and Karl Speak

Talking so People Will Listen: You Can Communicate with Confidence by Florence and Marita Littauer

You’ve Only Got Three Seconds: How to Make the Right Impression in Your Business and Social Life by Camille Lavington

Brag! The Art of Tooting your Own Horn without Blowing It by Peggy Klaus

Speak from the Heart: Be Yourself and Get Results by Steve Adubato

 I’m curious…What books have you found helpful as you network and build your business relationships?

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Networking is all about developing the relationship.  And the best way to get rid of some of the networking nerves is to focus on the other person.  Make it about him and his needs.

Networking gets easier over time and with practice.  Check out the business section in your local paper to see what networking events are scheduled in your area, what associations relevant to your line of work are meeting, and what clubs or groups that interest you have scheduled events.  Then join them!

With your networking kit in hand and your conversation starters prepared, show up and discover how you can help someone else.  Feel the fear and do it anyway.

If it looks like everyone is already in discussions when you arrive, pick a small group and walk up and say something like,

“I hope it’s OK to join you.  You seem like a friendly group!”

It’s very likely there are people at the event who are more nervous than you are.  So become the person known for reaching out.  Invite others to join your conversation.  Reach out with a smile and handshake to someone who is standing alone.  Be the connector.

My friend Kathleen Watson is a pro at relationship marketing and business matchmaking.  Her book, Net Profit: Business Networking without the Nerves, provides practical tools and action steps for honing your networking skills.  She is also a fabulous networking coach.   She can help you craft your introductions and showcase your skills so clearly that “prospects are standing in line to talk with you.”  Wouldn’t we all love that!

Job seekers, networking is critical to your job search strategy.  Each weekend, identify the networking events you’re going to attend during the next two or three weeks that will connect you with people who can help you with your job search.  Then schedule those events on your calendar.  If you aren’t sure how to create a job search strategy, click here and use “My Weekly Plan for Success.”  I think you’ll find it helpful.

Follow-up is a must to building relationships.  And yes, thank you notes matter.  So when sending the information or making the introduction you’ve promised, use a thank you note that gets remembered.  Bob Burg has a great notecard model.  Using his suggestions, I created a personally designed notecard that looks different from everyone else’s.  And since it has my picture on it, it’s easy for my new friend and colleague to remember who I am.  Click here to learn from the master himself!

Who can you help move forward in their professional goals today?  Who can you help with their job search?  Reach out and make the connection.  Watch for opportunities to build relationships.  That’s what networking is all about.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

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If you’re an experienced networker, you probably remember those first few times you tried to start a conversation with someone.  A few stammers, uncomfortable pauses, and the deer-in-headlights look, right?  Eventually, you found your own rhythm and style.

Here’s an easy to remember acronym for what to say and do when you’re meeting people for the first time:  OFPS – “Oh, For Pete’s Sake!”  Corny?  Maybe.  Does it work?  Yes!

O:  Opening lines

“What brought you to this meeting?”

“Have you heard the speaker before?”

“That’s a wonderful jacket.  Where did you find it?”

“Hello.  I don’t think we’ve met.  I’m Gaye Lindfors.  And you are…”

F:  Friendly smile

Everyone naturally respond so a smile and eye contact.  So even if your knees are shaking and your palms are sweaty, smile.  It creates an immediate connection.

P:  Personal interest

After you’ve made a connection with your Opening line, ask the other person about herself.

“What do you do when you’re not at events like this?”

“What do you love about your work?”

“Did you grow up in the area?”

“Do you follow any of our sports teams?”

S:  Small talk

You’ve connected with someone and you’d like to get to know them a little better. A great idea is to pick up on something personal they’ve already mentioned, and ask more about it.

“I recently finished reading Bob Burg’s Endless Referrals.  Have you read it?”

“You said that you grew up in a small town.  Has the town changed much since you left?”

“What types of  movies do you enjoy? I prefer suspense or comedy over science fiction.  What about you?”

You can prepare your conversation starters even before you get to the event.  “Oh, For Pete’s Sake!”  Then show up with your networking toolkit and your questions, and just do it!

Still a little hesitant about getting out there?  It gets easier!  You just need to practice.  In the next post we’ll wrap up this networking series—“Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway!”

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Networking is all about developing and nurturing relationships.  It’s exchanging ideas and connections that help both of you achieve your goals.  So your most important networking tool is simply to be interested in helping other people move forward.

As president of The Nierenberg Group, Andrea Nierenberg equips executives to “Find, Grow, and Keep”® the clients that are key to their success and helps them become better business communicators.  She’s written several exceptional books on networking, providing simple, practical tools and “how to” steps on networking techniques.  Million Dollar Networking has been a key resource on my bookshelf for several years.  I’m looking forward to reading her latest book, Savvy Networking: 118 Fast & Effective Tips for Business Success.

There are just a few things you need to network successfully.  (And remember, you never know when a networking opportunity presents itself!)

1. Business cards
2. Business card case
3. Small notebook
4. Pen

Business cards.  Make sure yours looks professional and has your contact information on it.  Include your social networking info (i.e., LinkedIn, FaceBook, Twitter, etc.).

Job seekers, business cards are a must even when you’re unemployed.  It’s the marketing piece that’s easy to give away after you’ve made a connection.  Check out http://www.vistaprint.com for a quick and easy way to create yours.  They will create and send cards to you for only the cost of shipping, if you agree to have their website address on the back of your card.  My suggestion: unless you are really financially strapped, pay the small cost of creating it without their website.  It looks a little sharper and more professional.

Business card case.  Use a business card case that allows you to separate your cards from those you get from others.

Small notebook.  As you network, you are going to get names, ideas, and make follow-up commitments to people you connect with.  Use a small notebook where you can keep your notes and promises.  It looks a lot better than scrambling for a piece of paper at the bottom of your bag or pocket.

Pen.  Pretty much explains itself!

Remember, networking is about giving first.  These tools provide support to the most important part of your networking strategy—asking how you can help someone else achieve their goals.

Worried about what to say and how to even begin a conversation?  The next post will help make that a whole lot easier!

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Your mouth turns to cotton, you can’t remember what your business is about or what job you’re looking for, and you have no idea how to form a complete sentence.  Why?  You’ve just stepped through the door into a networking event. 

For job seekers, business owners, and anyone interested in helping others and themselves move forward professionally and personally, networking is just something you have to do.  And it doesn’t have to be painful.

Networking is simply developing relationships that are mutually beneficial.  Starting up a conversation, learning a little bit about the other person, and listening for ways you can help them connect to people you know.  You don’t have to be an extrovert or the life of the party to network.  You simply need to be interested in helping other people. 

Here are three easy steps to get your networking strategy kicked into high-gear:

1. Create your networking kit (you probably already have everything you need)
2. Prepare your conversation starters
3. Plan your follow-up

We’ve heard that preparation is a key to success.  That holds true for networking.  Taking a few moments to think strategically about how you want to network and what you’re going to say will reduce a lot of the tension associated with building these relationships.

Bob Burg is my all-time favorite speaker and author when it comes to learning how to incorporate networking into my business and personal life. “All things being equal, people will do business with and refer business [and job leads] to those people they know, like, and trust.”   His book “Endless Referrals” teaches you how to authentically develop the relationships that result in more business (job leads!) for both of you.  It’s a must read for business professionals.

You probably know someone who is looking for a job – you already have a relationship.  Help her out.  Network with her.  Try this:

1.  Call her and ask how her job search is going.
2. Ask her what kind of job she’s looking for.
3. Think about all the people you know (relatives, friends, people from your church, etc.) and identify one person who might be helpful to your friend.  (Someone who is in the same field, or works or worked at a similar company, or has the same hobbies or interests.)  You simply want to make a connection for your friend.  (You don’t have to find her a job.)
4. Give your friend your connection’s name and phone number.  Better yet, offer to introduce your friend to him.

There.  You’ve networked.  Way to go!

In the next few posts we’ll continue this discussion, focusing on the three steps to successful networking. 

I’m curious…what creates your greatest sense of anxiety when you think about networking?

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